Okay! I admit it!
I have been suffering from envy! In the past two months,
two of my cousins have gotten married (for the second time). One of them, well,
his new wife is going to have a baby. A baby! Do you know how long I have
longed for a baby?
Marriage… A baby… Both of these are things that I have
desired for as long as I can remember.
Now the comparison starts…Well, they both have managed to
find someone to marry, not once, but twice. I’m 37 years old, and I can’t find
anyone who wants to spend their life with me. What’s wrong with me? Why am I
still alone? Well, why would anyone want
to marry me?
Then all the imperfections… all of my faults start
flooding my mind…
·
I have terrible allergies and it seems like I’m
always sick.
·
I’m a terrible housekeeper.
·
I’m impatient.
·
I’m overweight.
·
And so on and so on.
The list continues and before you know it…all I can see are
the imperfections…all I can see is what is wrong with me and my life.
There is no joy and
the light is overshadowed…all because I started comparing my worst to someone
else’s best.
I don’t want to live like this…so what can I do to change
it? What can I do to get the joy back?
1) Recognize
The first thing that I need to do is RECOGNIZE that what I am doing is a sin. It goes back to the Ten
Commandments… “Do not covet.” (Deuteronomy 6: ) When I am envious of someone
else, it is because I am looking at what they have and saying that I want that
for myself and that is coveting. Pure and simple! It is wrong, and I need to
recognize it for what it is…SIN!
2) Repent
The second thing that I need to do is REPENT. Repentance simply means agreeing with God that what I am
doing is wrong, asking for His forgiveness (because when I am coveting I am
saying to God that what He has given me is not enough), and then turning away
from the sin.
3) Replace
The third step in all of this is REPLACING the negative thoughts or behavior with something
else...God’s Word. By reading through His promises and drawing closer to God,
you can replace those feelings of envy with joy. By making Him the focus
instead of what you don’t have, you stop the comparisons. By reading what He
has to say about you and who you are in Him, you realize that your life may not
be perfect, but you are where He wants you to be.
4) Repair
The fourth thing that you can do is REPAIR any of the damage that you might have done to the relationship
that you have with the person (or people) who you feel envious of. In my case,
well, I haven’t actually seen or talked to either of my cousins in a few months
(long before I knew that either of them were getting married) so there is
really very little damage to repair, but I might consider sending them a gift
or a card to let them know that I am happy for them.
I am going to be honest. This isn’t an easy process…First
off, no one wants to recognize that they are in the wrong. Secondly, it is easy
to tell someone you are sorry, but it is more difficult to make it right and in
many cases you can’t make it right. The relationship will never be the same. At
times, the relationships could become stronger, but at other times the
relationships could be severely damaged by what was done. Thirdly, it takes
work and self-discipline to replace that wrong behavior or thoughts. It is not
something that is just going to disappear overnight. It takes time and
commitment and staying close to the Lord.
Pray for me on this journey…As I will be praying for you
on your journey.
God Bless You!
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